just reading through the bible...

Deut. 8:2-3 “Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that come from the mouth of the Lord.”

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in the desert

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Lord i want to yearn for You
i want to burn with passion
over You and only You
Lord i want to yearn


-yearn shane and shane

Another deep truth I have learnt, and one we can all cling to, is that God is personally interested in us as individuals and that He will engineer our circumstances and daily lives so that He can thereby make us like Jesus.  This takes the sting out of much that could otherwise hurt.  He allows various accidents and happenings to occur, which will affect us deeply, perhaps, only so that, through them, we may be drawn closer to Himself.

- Dr. Helen Roseveare from Give Me This Mountain

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to know that God is in charge of my daily life helps me to understand and gives meaning to my sometimes tiresome /mundane day

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on my way to work this morning, i was listening to the sound tracks to WICKED (broadway musical), which made me wanna go see it again.  at one point i got really emotional and almost cried...

ELPHABA:
I'm through with accepting limits,
'Cuz someone says they're so!
Some things I cannot change,
but 'till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
loosing love, I guess I've lost!
Well, if thats love, it comes at much to high a cost!
I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodby!
I'm defying gravity, and you can't pull me down!


i think i'm about to go try my luck in the lottery for tickets again...

또 하루 멀어져 간다
내뿜은 담배 연기처럼
작기만 한 내 기억 속에
무얼 채워 살고 있는지

점점 더 멀어져 간다
머물러 있는 청춘인 줄 알았는데
비어 가는 내 가슴속엔
더 아무 것도 찾을 수 없네

계절은 다시 돌아오지만
떠나간 내 사랑은 어디에
내가 떠나 보낸 것도 아닌데
내가 떠나 온 것도 아닌데

조금씩 잊혀져 간다
머물러 있는 사랑인 줄 알았는데
또 하루 멀어져 간다
매일 이별하며 살고 있구나

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오늘아침 테레비젼 에 나온 어느 연륜 많은 한 연극 배우가 말했다

나이가 지극히 든 지금이 더 좋다고

그 누가 청춘으로 다시돌려 보내준다고 해도 지금 이대로가 좋다고

세월이 가르쳐준 그지혜와…또 모든것을 즐기며 이해할수있는 지금이 좋다고

 

지난주일 우리 목사님 말씀중에

나이가 들면서 하나님께 드리는 예배가 더더욱 경건해지고

예배에 참 미 를 느낄수 있다고 하셨다

 

가끔식 어린 친구들이 물어본다

언니 서른이 되니 어떻수?

 

나에 답은 언제나 그렇다…

 

글쎄… 그때나 지금이나인것 같아.

서른이 됐다고 뭐 대수냐…

하지만 스무살땐 몰랐던 그 뭐랄까…

삶이 보인다…

뭐가 내게 중요하고 또 내가 뭘 원하는지

그게 더 또렷히 보이는것 같다

 

세상에 물들지 않고

사람에 의견에 휩쓸리지 않고

나만에 신념, 개념

전혀 부끄럽지 않고 당당하게 살아가는 날 발견 하는것 같다